Heaven Reactor
Music/Lyric：Dara
Once again, I pretended not to notice the warning coming from within myself It's out of reach I couldn't do it today either Was the voice I just sang with really my own? The alarm, laced with anxiety, whispers in my ear once more Everything is annoying. Everything is a target That feeling even affected my songs Again I took a lesson from your shallow tears A hatred I can't put into words grows with every layer I add I was already stretched thin just trying to deal with myself I laughed while waving my ridiculous standards around Even though I'm the one who hasn’t achieved anything, I still find myself looking up Idleness became doomposts Idleness became vent posts I'll leave behind all the images of an uncertain future before they burn my life away Idleness became doomposts Idleness became vent posts The conviction I held in the beginning was staring back at me from the trash I was sick of myself My “abnormality” is normal I had another dream where I couldn't reach the place where you are I tell the part of myself I hate, “You're so annoying.” The future, my hopes, my talent—aren’t they all just enemies to me now? My desire to do things is turning into trash I'm losing the ability to speak my true feelings My dreams are turning into mist The memories I discarded are coming back here Damn it. I've even betrayed my own allies It’s because other people’s eyes and voices piss me off My limits are what make me who I am I have to end this. I have to end this I have to end this. I have to end this You're a Reactor. You're a Reactor There are just too many people above me now I have to end it, I have to end it I have to end it, I have to end it I'm a Reactor. I'm a Reactor I'm weak Even so, I want to be free from the constraints and thoughts that surround me I'll show you that I myself can become a poison to the world Don't put an end to my impossible present I wanted emotions that surpassed yours The breath I had left asked me, “Can't you kill unless you're drunk?” Did you hear that? Even now, I still wanted to be “abnormal.” The world has robbed me of my emotional rationality, but it has given me nothing in return It gave me nothing